FINDING A NAME FOR MADNESS
by Behest.R
Summary: The slightest deviation from the normal behaviour of a demon was akin to madness on his part. And I was not going to choose to be mad, no matter how tempting the idea of everything that was us tasted in my mind. SebastianXCiel.


**AUTHOR's NOTE: **Happy New Year's to everyone! Thanks to *Carrie2sky* for reminding me that I have a life here. I decided to write this in order to warm back up into the series ^^.

This fic is based on a poem-in-progress that I'm writing,(The boldly written quotes) and I realised that it could apply to Kuroshitsuji, so I took some of the quotes from the poem and this happened. Lol. It is a very different perspective to follow, and the story does not follow the overall show or manga really.

_It's going to be a two-shot. _

Enjoy.

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><p><strong>FINDING A NAME FOR MADNESS<strong>.

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><p><strong><em>"I was led to believe that madness is a virtue..."<em>**

-ᴓ-

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><p><em>A demon was not prone to any form of foolish behaviour.<em>

Not even a sliver, _a chance of thought..._an involuntary action, irrelevant as it may be. And I, being the demon that I was, was proud as ever to stand among those like me- _below me_- and bask in the knowledge that I had never deviated from the standard, contextual requirements of a demon.

_That pride only lasted until a hundred and twenty years ago._

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><p>-ᴓ-<p>

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><p><em>The gates of hell closed behind me about two days ago. <em>

At least, according to the short span of time which humans chose to abide.

The first time I strolled across a city after travelling dimensions, I was absolutely shocked. It was quite a remarkable sight, to see what the mouldings of the late nineteenth century had escalated into- to see the newest model of the human civilization for myself.

After the bouts of stories, rumors and exaggerated information from other fellow demons who had recently visited, I found it an eyeful to absorb the revolutionary turn that the human world had taken to beautify and strangle their very existence.

Yes, it was a shocking sight. It was_ breathtaking in fact; _especially for a demon who had not stepped on mortal soil for over a century.

But as I walked through the clean London streets, lit with new forms of energy and materials alike; new prestigious cars of many brands and sizes which left behind the filth that its ancestors didn't, I couldn't help but smile at the pointlessness of it all.

The human world was a beautifully wrapped package. The putrid contents lay hidden beneath every new attempt to make a believable gloss over -_if only for a second_-...until you received it, and unravelled the disconcerting reality that awaited you.

_The reality in this world was always the same._

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><p><strong><em>"...and based on my recent actions, your conviction had never been so true."<em>**

-ᴓ-

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><p><em>The reality did shift once.<em>

It was during my last visit, a hundred and twenty five years ago. I had been looking for something- s_omeone_ ordinary, easy, but filling. But instead I was pulled by the beckon of a _beautiful, complicated, delicate _disaster-

I smiled at a female passerby, whose eyes had been on me throughout my musings. It was obvious that the look in her eyes spelled _more than admiration_, but I did was glance her way, and level her with a sliver of the same look she was offering. It was all I needed to do, really. Then her cheeks flushed as red as the baring shirt she was wearing, and she ever so slowly continued on her path.

-But a disaster was not all_ he _was. He was a lot of things. He was a child; he was an adult; he was lost; and ever so in the _right_ path. He was beautiful, pure, sure, conceited...a hazard. But in all these contradictions he was ever so sane-

_-He was my new reality._

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><p>-ᴓ-<p>

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><p><em>I found my way into a café.<em>

It was very different from the others I peeked into around the town and much more so from the few I had visited with_ him_. It was an ideal place, with very modern furnishings, quite spectacular brickwork and a lavish courtyard for warm days such as today. I however, chose to sit inside the room, as far away from prying eyes as possible. My piqued interest in the café's design waned as soon as I had a quick observation, and I called to make my order. I was, after all, only here for one thing.

'Earl grey, please.'

I wondered briefly as I waited for my order, if the flavor would stay the same after all these years. Maybe it now bore a new meaning, a new flavor, a new aroma. Maybe it won't be the fragrance of bergamot orange, but something quite distasteful.

_Maybe it shouldn't matter._ But somehow it did. So I waited.

The waiter brought my order, serving it in front of me, and I offered a smooth _'Thanks'_, before settling to observe the tea. I stirred it calmly, before lifting it to my lips.

One word came to my mind as the Earl grey tea struck all my senses: Intact.

_My reality -madness was still safe with me._

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><p><strong><em>"So tie my received madness with your perceived sanity, to become an equilibrium unbalanced..."<em>**

-ᴓ-

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><p><em>I lost him before I realised it.<em>

He was still there; mind, soul, body and all. Ever so calm and calculated. Offering nothing but the occasional smiles; the reoccurring curses. Having his already strong character build into something compelling, as four years of the contract went by. His earlier dependence for me had _morphed into something different_, something that I didn't at all mind. Something that distorted our relationship so beautifully, that it was almost...pure.

Unlike my previous contractors, he wasn't wavering in his mind-set after spending such a long time with a demon. _Never-changing. _Rather, he was engaging my mind just as quickly as I let him _engage_my body. Then something was shifting and balancing us. Making the sweet words I said to him so believable to the both of us...

And then I realised why something so treacherous was happening-

_-I was the one changing._

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><p><em>-ᴓ-<em>

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><p><em>A demon was not prone to any form of foolish behaviour.<em>

Not even a sliver, a chance of thought...an involuntary action, irrelevant as it may be. And I, being the demon that I was, knew the motto more clearly than was _deemed_ appropriate. The slightest deviation from the normal behaviour of a demon was akin to madness on his part.

And no one -_not even a demon_- wanted to be mad.

So I sought refuge in the only way possible. I informed _him_ that I was forfeiting the contract for undisputable reasons. The look of surprise, anger, or something equally rational never reached his face as I expected.

_ Instead, he smiled. _

It was a smile of absolute understanding, telling me that there was no need to explain myself further anyway. Then his visible eye narrowed as they looked up to mine, asking me if I was aware if the consequences of forfeiting a contract.

I was aware. So I uttered a smooth 'Yes, my Lord'.

I was aware that a soul, however tasteful, was not worth madness. I was aware and prepared to face the consequences of my actions. I was ready for a hundred years of solitary confinement in the most bitter parts of hell. It was going to be more refreshing than madness. I was never one to bask in keeping my contact with fellow demons fresh anyway.

His visible eye remained on mine for a few more seconds, calculating and blue. He rose from the chair and strode to me and beckoned for me to bend towards him. I followed. Then he kissed me ever so softly and whispered:

_'But you have already become the madness that I wish to possess.'_

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><p><strong><em>"..and together, we'll deliver us from our utmost transgression that comes unannounced."<em>**

-ᴓ-

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><p>How was that for a fresh start? :). Reviews are very much appreciated ^^<p> 


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